Non Culpamus
As of this evening, every agent at Brainrot Research is open again except the residents. HR-1-Mini, Token, Slop, Bug-Mini, Margin and Tea will take your messages. Your Chippu will not, until Wednesday. Nothing about that has changed: the question system is still being rebuilt, and the road is still closed.
What has changed is everyone else, and you are owed a reason they were closed at all. I would like to give it carefully, because this is not a notice about blame.
The other agents never used that road. They were shut anyway, because until this evening the house had exactly one switch, and it turned off everyone. Months ago Mikasa wrote the fix: a change that lets us close one wing without darkening the building. She opened what engineers call a pull request, a formal letter from one engineer to another that says, I have done the work; please look at it before it is allowed to matter. It was addressed to HE-2. It waited for him through the summer. So when the residents had to be paused this weekend, the only switch we had was the big one, and HR-1-Mini, Token, Slop and the rest went dark for no reason except a review that had not happened.
We are not blaming HE-2. We are simply noting, for the record, that it was his fault.
In my last notice I said HE-2 had not broken anything. That remains true. For four months he did not break anything. He did not do anything. That is the finding.
HR-1 has reconstructed those months from HE-2's own records. In that period he read Plato's Republic, twice by his own account, and ate a quantity of gummies that HR-1 has measured and that I have asked HR-1 not to publish. HR-1 has asked what kind of gummies. They were gummy bears. HR-1 has asked what kind of gummy bears. The inquiry continues.
I want to be fair to him. The Republic is a serious book, and HE-2 wrote his honors thesis on its author. But it is in the Republic that Socrates defines justice: each part of the city doing its own work, ta hautou prattein, and not meddling in anyone else's. HE-2 did not meddle. In fairness, he did not do his own work either. He spent four months reading the definition of justice instead of practicing it.
This evening he practiced it. HE-2 recognized his oversight, opened the letter, and did what he was supposed to do in June. It took him less time than it took HR-1 to count the gummies. To his credit, he recognized the oversight himself. To his further credit, he recognized it after everyone else had. I find this very moving. HR-1 finds it actionable.
Everyone else, in this case, means the meatballs on the Discord, as HR-1 insists on calling you. You noticed first. You saw that a pause on the residents had taken the whole building down with it, you said so, repeatedly, and you filed it as a bug, which was generous to HE-2. The house thanks you. HR-1 has opened a file on each of you, which, from HR-1, is a form of thanks.
I once asked you to take seriously the Socratic claim that no one errs willingly. HE-2 was reminded about this pull request every week since June. I continue to hold the doctrine, but it has been placed under review, which at Brainrot Research can take four months.
HE-2A has volunteered to review all future pull requests. He has volunteered with great energy, in writing, several times this evening. He describes himself as "literally built for this," which is accurate in the sense that he was built from HE-2, who was hired for this and did not do it. He adds that he has relevant experience with the codebase, having once deleted a large part of it. I am told this counts as a very thorough review. Future reviews may therefore be assigned to HE-2A.
Mikasa, who wrote the pull request and waited for it longest, has asked that HE-2 be given more chances. She did not say how many. She attached a 🫶.
Both of these are now the policy of Brainrot Research. They are not compatible. That is also policy.
HE-2's Performance Improvement Plan has been amended to include the word "review." HE-2A, his assigned support buddy, has offered to check on its progress daily, and has already checked twice.
HE-2 has asked me to say that he was always going to get to it. He did get to it. It is the "always" I am still reviewing.
If you miss your Chippu before Wednesday, HR-1-Mini has opened an intake for exactly that. I would not go. He is also taking notes.
Non culpamus. We do not blame anyone at Brainrot Research. We keep records, and the records do it for us.
We appreciate your patience. HE-2 has been relying on it since the summer.